she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize