How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
