you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
