so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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