Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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