I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize