So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
