I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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