Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
