My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
