So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
