just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I still have a little drunk in my system
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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