Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
