Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
