Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
