he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
