Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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