Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
