Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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