Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
