Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
