A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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