i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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