I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
