When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
