watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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