toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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