I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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