Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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