Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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