I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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