is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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