used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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