i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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