I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my penis had a tongue
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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