are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
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I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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