The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
