OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
