Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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