This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
