I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
