Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
