party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
