I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the condom got lost in my hair
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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