Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
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I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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