I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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