I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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