are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Found the puke drawer
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
