no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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