Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
