That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
