the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
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it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
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I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize