i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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