I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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