I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
