If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
