There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
