Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
