Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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