hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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