Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
