Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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