Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
