The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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